1980 - CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC, The Village People Musical

Of course it's bad, it's a musical with The Village People top billed it couldn't be anything else but bad.  Besides the Village People, the film also stars Valerie Perrine who looks great until she opens her mouth, Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner who unsurprisingly can't act but can get away with wearing a tank top and Steve Guttenberg star of the Police Academy series. The film also features Tammy Grimes, Barbara Rush a former 1950's ingenue and June Havoc the sister of legendary stripper Gypsy Rose Lee.

The producer Allen Carr had been associated with the success of the film Grease.  Hollywood though Carr had the Midas touch which allowed to produce a couple of musical flops like Grease 2 and this film.  Carr hired Nancy Walker, a comedian who had directed a few TV sitcom episodes but never a motion picture.  The Village People had been popular in the 1970's during the disco craze but this was 1980 and disco was dying on the vine like the Commodore 64.  It was the perfect storm of creative failure.

To address the "gay thing,"  yeah it's there and not even in some kind of subtext but right in the open particularly during the YMCA number featuring a chorus of men executing some of the same moves as the Busby Berkley bathing beauties of the 1930's.  Even Valerie Perrine in short and tight clothes couldn't disguise this stuff. 

 

The bottom line even as gay camp the film kind of stinks with it's crappy original songs, strange casting of middle aged actresses and the sight of the Village People running around in their persona's of cowboy, Indian, construction worker etc.

124 minutes, written by Allan Carr, Bronte Woodard

1978 - MESSAGE FROM SPACE, Japanese Star Wars ripoff

Released a year after the very first Star Wars film, Message From Space rehashes a lot of the same situations and characters as that film while throwing in a few silly ideas of it's own.  The film is clearly no Star Wars and can't even hit the lunatic heights of Latitude Zero. 

The planet Jillucia has been attacked by the Gavanas Empire.  The Gavanas warriors all look like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz.  The Emerald Princess of the planet Jillucia sends eight Liabe Seeds into space to find eight warriors to save what's left of her people.  The Liabe Seeds look like walnuts and glow when they find the chosen warriors.  The seeds end up with a Space General played by Vic Morrow of all people and a couple of hot shot fighter pilots clearly standing in for Luke and Han.  The seeds also happen to find a guy to provide comedy relief and a feisty gal named Meia.  Sonny Chiba star of the Streetfighter series also shows up as a space guy with a sword.  This is essentially the plot of The Magnificent Seven (Seven Samurai).  If you've seen Star Wars you know where this is going and it doesn't disappoint.

The space ships literally look like ships and the special effects are miniatures hanging from wires while they are whisked across miniature landscapes.  The weapons used are ray guns and swords and the film is dubbed and daffy as they like to say.

Overall, Message From Space is probably a waste of time although I wasted my time watching it.  Kinji Fukasaku the director should have really known better.

105 minutes, written by Hiro Matusda. 

1977 - DAMNATION ALLEY or cheesy science fiction film time

A quick 90 minutes for a silly end of the world science fiction film.  Damnation Alley has a low rent cast consisting of George Peppard, Jan Michael Vincent and Dominique Sanda.  Sanda was a French actor who had worked with Vittorio de Sica and Bernardo Bertolucci.  Seven years later she was stuck in crap like this working for studio hack Jack Smight, I wonder what happened to her career?

The real star of the film was the armored personnel carrier the "Landmaster."  It's kind of amazing this goofy thing even ran at all since it looks like it was made out of leftover corrugated boxes.  The plot of this film has the three actors driving down some corridor of the United States that doesn't have high levels of radiation in search of other people after the end of World War III.  They pick up a kid on their journey because in films like this there is always a kid that tags along.

The film definitely has a late 70's vibe to it with it's optical printer special effects of the sky on fire and the large fake scorpions that wander around the desert.  The film is also known for Peppard's famous line, "This whole town is infested with killer cockroaches." 

But perhaps I am being a little two hard on this film.  Damnation Alley does meet the 10 year old boy requirement when it comes to movie viewing.  It has a cool car gizmo, monsters and enough action to keep their interest.  The film does move along and it doesn't pretend to be anything more than it is, a "B" movie.

91 minutes.

1962 - LAWRENCE OF ARABIA is half a great film.

Considering the amount of work and the difficulties in filming in the desert with the 70mm camera back in 1962, this is an amazing film.  However I believe the problem with Lawrence of Arabia has always been the inability of Lean and his writers Michael Wilson and particularly Robert Bolt to get a focus on exactly who or what the character of  T. E. Lawrence was.

 I really can't find anything wrong with the first half of this film.  The scenes of Lawrence traveling in the desert in search of Prince Faisal and the rallying of the Arabs to attack the seaport of Aqaba are brilliantly done.  The acting, the scenery, Freddie Young's photography in the middle of the god forsaken desert are about as good as you will see in a film especially an epic like this.  The film ends somewhat satisfactory with Lawrence's return to Cairo.  I would quibble a bit with some of the first half of the film.  Lawrence is presented as if he had never traveled in the desert, the reality was that he was stationed in the middle east during World War I because of his knowledge of that part of the world.  However after the intermission the real problems with Lawrence of Arabia begin.

The second half of the film focuses on the political maneuverings of the British government and the puzzling character of Lawrence himself.  The script does not make it very clear regarding the motivation of the British government is in the middle east.  Clearly it's to have some sort of presence but what exactly?  To me, it sounds like the British and the French want to take over the middle east after World War I.  First they have to deal with Prince Faisal played with the usual "Arab horse trader" cliches by Alec Guiness spouting lots of wise old middle east cliches.   After watching the first half of a film which is essentially an adventure epic, the film stops cold for lots of talk about treaties and agreements which are probably only of interest to middle eastern history majors not the general public.

Then it's on to the utter failure to define exactly what is going on with this T. E Lawrence guy.  The film would like people to believe that he is some sort of intellectual sadist who was also a homosexual masochist with a touch of the exhibitionist in him, really?  Peter O' Toole has a great presence on screen with his deep blue eyes but David Lean has directed him to play the character like some sort of odd creepy weirdo.  The audience is also supposed to believe that Lawrence had the best interests of the Arabic people at heart but by the end of the film they come off as a bunch of clueless morons who need a nutty British officer to tell them what to do.

Lawrence of Arabia is the first of David Lean's super epics along with Doctor Zhivago and Ryan's Daughter. All of these films are visually impressive and well made but they all suffer from script problems which David Lean and his writer Robert Bolt were unable to get a handle on.

228 minutes, written by Robert Bolt and Michael Wilson.

1968 - ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST, the classic Western film

Haven't seen this one in a very long time.  My latest viewing of Once Upon a Time in the West reminds me that this is a great film and also a really long film.

Critics talk about how Sergio Leone is the master of wide screen composition and the close up, can't argue with that.  Leone also has a sense of humor, casting Henry Fonda as a real bad guy and loading the film up with cameos from American western actors like Jack Elam, Keenan Wynn, Lionel Standler and Woody Strode.  Strode said in an interview that Leone was the only director who gave him a lot of closeups in a film. 

Ennio Morricone wrote a fairly sparse score which consisted of about 3-4 themes which are repeated throughout the film it's very effective.  The principal leads with exception of Claudia Cardinale were American they were all very good, particularly Charles Bronson as a kind of crazed revenge seeking gunman.

Lots of good stuff in this film however the chief complaint would be the length of this film.  The film could probably have done with a few less expansive crane shots.

 166 minutes, written by Sergio Donati and Sergio Leone.

1946 - GREAT EXPECTATIONS, classic film is good for lazy students who didn't finish the book and have a test the next day

Usually considered one of the best adaptations of a Charles Dickens novel, David Lean and his team brought this film in under two hours a considerable accomplishment considering most of these Dicken's novels are very long.

Lean and his writers apparently went through the book and underlined what they considered were the major scenes in it and then took this material and turned it into a screenplay.  Apparently this was accomplished in a couple of weeks which must be some kind of a record

The film is sort of a greatest hits of Great Expectations and having read the book (admittedly a long time ago) it's hard to figure out what exactly was left out of the film.  If I had any criticism of the film at all it would be with the ending which is just a  little contrived.  Pip finally gets Estella to see the light by literally having her walk into the light.

Even early in his career David Lean was the total pro when it came to making films.  The cinematography, acting, editing, production and sound design are at a very high level for what is a decent but modestly budgeted film.  This is a very easy film to watch for a 40's classic.

The screenplay was by David Lean, Anthony Havelock-Allan and Ronald Neame the running time is 113 minutes.

2013 -THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG, the 2nd in the 2nd trilogy or the 5 in the Lord of the Rings Saga

What an incredible piece of crap and this is getting good reviews mostly it seems because it was better than the first film in the new series.  This Hobbit film is essentially a rehash of The Fellowship of the Rings film which featured a bunch of guys being chased by some Orcs.  Nothing succeeds like success so Peter Jackson and his team just remade that film.  In The Hobbit:  The Desolation of Smaug,  the hobbit and the dwarfs are chased by what else, Orcs.

This film is also incredibly violent, I can guarantee that the viewer will get his or her fill of Orcs getting shot through the neck with arrows or beheaded with a sword.  Jackson must like this stuff because there is a lot of it throughout the film.  Since no blood comes leaking out of the dismembered body or head it's apparently OK to constantly show it.

Considering all the money Peter Jackson had at his disposal he seems to be a very unimaginative filmmaker.  The film constantly repeats the same shots of the hobbit and the dwarfs walking around while the camera swoops in from a great distance.  If there is a mountain in the background and someone is walking up it, you can be sure the camera will come flying in from some bird's eye view almost crashing into the mountain. 

By now it's well know that The Hobbit will be a three part film series which means more story padding and more beheading scenes.  But I could be wrong.  Next year the public will proably all walk into the theater like lemmings to watch The Hobbit 3:  Hobbits Are  A Girl's Best Friend.

 161 minutes, written by Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens and Guillermo del Toro.

1974 - MCQ, a very bad John Wayne film.

A very bad film made by John Sturges and John Wayne late in their careers.  Clearly the point of  McQ was to put the iconic actor in a contemporary cop film similar to Dirty Harry. But considering the talent, the film is a very poor rehash of that film.

A lot of the people involved in the film like John Sturges and composer Elmer Bernstein are working well below their skill level.  It's like hardening of the artistic arteries had set in with these old time professionals.  John Wayne in particular looks really out of it.  He seems barely engaged with the film and is incredibly stiff and slow moving throughout the film.  Wayne acts more like a senior citizen in need of a walker than a tough veteran cop. 

To add to the oldster status of the film, the rest of the cast features a bunch of old timers.  William Bryant, Eddie Albert, Diana Muldaur, Clu Gulager, David Huddleston, Al Lettiere, Julie Adams and Colleen Dewhurst.  It's like being at a celebrity senior citizens center.

 The plot is about drug dealing and dirty cops something that was on Quinn Martin TV shows every other week.  The action is unimpressive except for a final car chase along a Pacific Ocean beach.

The whole thing is just pretty depressing and bad.

111 minutes written by Lawrence Roman.

1963 - THE GIRL WHO KNEW TOO MUCH, early giallo film

The Girl Who Knew Too Much is a very early giallo film shot by Mario Bava who is one of the creators of this genre.  To refresh everyone's memory, giallo films feature lots of murders, blood, suspense and a little sex.  

As one of the first giallo films this one sticks to that formula.  Murders with people getting knives in their backs and a young blonde heroine who is constantly being stalked by a killer while everyone around her are dropping like flies sprayed with insect killer.

The film is photographed by the director Mario Bava in his full gothic look.  Nothing like a nice creepy film in black and white. 

86 minutes, written by Ennio De Concin, Sergio Corbucci, Eliana de Sabata, Mino Guerrini,  Franco Prosperi and Mario Bava.

1932 - THIRTEEN WOMEN, a fascinating film mixing hypnosis and horoscopes

Short and sweet.  This odd drama features American actor Myrna Loy during the odd part of her career where she was frequently cast as mysterious Asian women.  Loy plays a woman who was ostracized by her classmates at a girls boarding school.  Years later, Loy decides to have her revenge on 13 of her classmates through seduction, hypnosis and the power of suggestion which involves sending them horoscopes which predict their deaths.

Thirteen Women is barely and hour and zips along at a very fast pace.  The scheming Loy is fun to watch especially when she goes after goody two shoes Irene Dunne.  Unfortunately the dictates of a Hollywood studio film decree that all American actor Irene Dunne will come out on top.

59 minutes.

1981 - SPHINX - HItchcock wanna be thriller and travelogue

Actress and model Lesley-Anne Down was fairly hot in the mid 70's.  Today I doubt most people would have a hard time even recalling exactly who she was and what she appeared in.  Down was chiefly known for appearing in the British upper class/lower class drama Upstairs, Downstairs.  That show was the Downton Abbey of it's day and was very popular on PBS, sound familiar?

Down tried to use her popularity on that show to jump into a film career. She did a number of supporting roles in films before she got her big break in the film Sphinx.  Sphinx was directed by a fairly decent director, Franklin J, Schaffner who had directed Patton and was based on a novel by the then hot writer Robin Cook.  Sphinx is a thriller set in Egypt about the illegal buying and selling of ancient artifacts,  Lesley-Anne Down plays a noted Egyptologist who just happens to look like a hot model.  She pretty much throws any credibility this film has into the garbage.

On the positive side for this film, it is extremely well photographed and is if anything a nice record of all the traditional tourist hot spots of Egypt,  the Pyramids, The Valley of the Kings, Cairo, etc.  On the negative side the plot has a lot of holes and coincidences that it really stretches credibility to the point of maximum tensile strength.  

Lesley-Anne Down couldn't carry this film and it was back to TV movies and mini series for her after Sphinx flopped at the box office.  Another film with a miscast actor that suffered from the miscasting.

118 minutes, screenplay by John Byrum.

1939 - GONE WITH THE WIND, is half a good film.

I was less impressed with this viewing (which will be my last) of David Selznick's super production.  The story of the making of this film is very well documented and chiefly focuses on Selznick's detailed and obsessive perfectionism throughout the making of the film.

Selznick hired George Cukor to direct the film.  Cukor spent two years preparing the film and filmed for about 3 weeks at which point Selznick fired him.  Victor Fleming who was filming The Wizard of Oz at the time was pulled off of that film and reassigned to Gone With The Wind.  Fleming hated Selznick's guts but stayed through most of the film but finally dropped out supposedly from exhaustion.

Sam Wood wrapped up directing the film.  The production designer William Cameron Menzies appears to have directed pieces of the film in particular the burning of Atlanta sequences.  It's generally thought the Menzies was the person responsible for bringing any consistent look to the film considering all the cooks mixed up in this film.

The chief problem with Gone With The Wind is the script.  After going thorough practically every screenwriter in Hollywood, Selznick hired Ben Hecht to revise it while filming was actually going on.  Hecht only agreed to work on the film for a week and he apparently rewrote the first part which is the best part of the film.  The second half of the film was apparently written by Selznick and it's one disjointed soap opera like scene after another.  The Scarlet O'Hara love stuff where she carries the torch for Ashley Wilkes really makes watching the film a major effort. 

Gone With The Wind is saved by it's extremely impressive cast.  Clark Gable, Olivia de Havilland and Leslie Howard are excellent.  However, what really holds this very long film together is Vivian Leigh.  It would be hard to imagine how this film would have been without her in the lead.

238 minutes, screenplay credited to Sidney Howard.

1929 - WOMAN IN THE MOON or FRAU IM MOND

Another fascinating film from Fritz Lang and his wife the writer Thea von Harbou.  Woman in the Moon is about the first flight to the Moon for the purpose of locating gold.  The complicated plot kicks into gear almost immediately.  A group of businessmen who control the world's gold supply want to stop the flight.  There is an espionage plot, a love story and a fairly crazed idea of what the Moon is like which in this film turns out to have a breathable atmosphere. 

 Since this is a Fritz Lang film made at the UFA studios it is an extremely well done production.  The model and miniature work are very impressive.  The photography and editing are very good, it's hard to find anything that looks substandard in this film.

Woman in the Moon is not considered one of Lang's best silent films.  The chief issue seemed to be the extremely crazy turn the script takes once the spaceship "Friede" lands on the Moon.  There is a young boy who has snuck into the Friede prior to the launch in the great movie cliche tradition of the stowaway.  Further craziness comes with the search for gold on the Moon which involves using a divining rod of all things.

In spite of these last act plot situations the film does have a fascinating ending and while it's no Metropolis, it's not the big disappointment that it is usually labeled as.  Woman in the Moon is an excellent finish to Fritz Lang's silent film period.

156 minutes.

2010 - IRON MAN 2 - finally got around to seeing this thing.

Been putting off watching this thing, it ended up being what I expected.  This is the same film as the original Iron Man except they just jacked it by being bigger, noisier and more expensive.  In the last film Tony Stark ended up fighting a guy in another Iron Man suit who was more powerful than him.  In this film he fights a whole bunch of bad robots instead of just one robot guy.  In the previous film, Tony Stark is a drunk and a playboy.  In Iron Man 2 he's drunker and a bigger playboy.  You get the picture. 

Not much of a plot mostly a bunch of random incidents.  Iron Man fights some Russian guy with electronic whips, Iron Man fights him again, Iron Man fights his robots etc.  The secret spy organization SHIELD is mixed up in this so called story.  Some agent named Black Widow has infiltrated Tony Stark's company for reasons I was not entirely sure of except that she wears tight clothes and beats up lots of guys. 

Everything wraps up with a big action climax with Tony Stark and his friend wearing some robot armor that shoots missiles.  Lots of computer images blow up.  No picture needs to be painted for this movie.

As far as the cast goes, Robert Downey does his little cute playboy thing again.  Gwyneth Paltrow is probably grateful she is in a hit movie series, ditto Scarlett Johansson.  Mickey Roarke plays some brilliant Russian scientist who builds the evil robot army which is kind of amusing considering Roarke looks like he can barely groom himself. 

125 minutes.