2025 - A KELLER CHRISTMAS VACATION - A Hallmark holiday film (what else)?

The typical Hallmark Christmas love story gets a little bit make that a very little bit of a spin with on location filming in Germany.  Usually these films are filmed in Canada on phony sets dressed up to look like it's been snowing when in reality it's just white blankets covering the ground to simulate snow.

In this film Keller Mom and Dad have persuaded their grown children to accompany them on a Christmas river cruise.  Each of the children have some sort of relationship issue.  Brother Cal is a coach of some kind who is dealing with a breakup.  Sister Emory has to deal with a breakup and the loss of her job.  Finally brother number two Dylan is in a relationship with a doctor he has proposed to but has turned him down.  Dylan is bummed out about this and trying to understand what happened to their relationship but he makes time for the river cruise.  In a rare appearance by a couple who aren't heterosexual, Dylan and his partner are gay.

 

Well needless to say there's lots of romance.  Brother Cal meets a woman on the cruise who is celebrating Christmas with her grandfather.  Will there be a romantic Christmas connection?  Sister Emory meets the cute cruise director on this cut rate love boat and sparks fly.  Dylan's significant other shows up with a big family secret he has been keeping which will rock the very foundations of the family.

This film has lots of humor throughout the running time mostly at the expense of unsurprisingly gay Dylan.  Hallmark may have been brave to include a gay couple in this film but they didn't have a problem making him the buffoon of most of their dumb humor.

 

Honestly this is not one of the worst Christmas films I have seen this year,  I'll leave that to the incredibly stupid She's Making A List about a company that spies on children for Santa Claus to see if they have been naughty or nice.  Fortunately I slept through a lot of it.

A Keller Christmas Vacation was written by Tracy Andreen , the running time is 84 minutes. 

1992 - FULL CONTACT, Ringo Lam's stylish action thriller

Ringo Lam's crime film is stylish, dirty, violent, soulless, and very entertaining for the action junkie crowd looking for lots of shooting and fighting without any of that morale compass stuff.

Chow Yun-fat plays Gou Fei a tough guy criminal along with his friend Sam Sei who get mixed up with an outrageous criminal gang looking to hijack a bunch of weapons.  Well one thing leads to another and there is betrayal, killing and lots more killing as a wounded Gou Fei nurses himself back to health all the while training and exercising himself into a one man killing machine and kill he does.

 

Ringo Lam was one of the best action directors working in Hong Kong, in Full Contact he's on location in Bangkok where he proceeds to blow and shoot up the town.  There's some dirty stuff as well one of the gang members is a woman who is shall we say a little oversexed another is a scary monster of a man called Deano as in not Dean Martin.  Gou Fei has a wife who seems like a nice bring her home to meet the parents kind of gal.  Her occupation appears to be exotic dancer so in between all the mayhem we get lots of dirty dancing.

 

It's always good to see Chow Yun-fat in his prime, he was a very charismatic actor.  Another Hong Kong mainstay is Anthony Wong who frequently showed up as a weaselly bad guy in a lot of these crime films.  The actor Ann Bridgewater who played Chow's wife actually got out of the film business and became an occupational therapist.

Full Contact is exactly what it is a well made film with absolutely no purpose to it other than to have Ringo Lam stage a bunch of impressive action scenes.  

The film was written by Nam Yin, the running time is 104 minutes. 

1992 - THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL, finally a version of A Christmas Carol I can get through

If you are looking for the definition of overexposed look no further then Dicken's A Christmas Carol.  I'm sure when Dickens wrote it he didn't expect it would probably be the story he would be remembered for.  A Christmas Carol is 182 years old and still going strong with many variations and that's putting it mildly.

 There is the stage version performed in my hometown at the Guthrie Theater which they role out every year a guaranteed fund raiser.  The actor Patrick Stewart does a one man version.  A musical version was performed on Broadway from 1994-2003. An LBGTQ version Scrooge and Marley apparently exists.  Mickey Mouse got into the act with Mickey's Christmas Carol.  Probably the best film adaptation is 1951's Scrooge with Alistair Sim which played up the horror elements of the story.  Believe me the list is endless.  I'm not even going to get into the other TV and film versions of this story although I will single out the Will Farrell version Spirited as particularly loathsome. 

 

Well let's get to The Muppet Christmas Carol which was filmed after the death of Jim Henson by his son Brian.  This is a surprisingly well thought out version which is mercifully under 90 minutes. Henson had the advantage of a supporting staff of technicians and performers who had been working together for quite a while.  The cast of these felt puppets assumed the various character roles.  Kermit the Frog is Bob Cratchit, Gonzo is Charles Dickens, the Marley's are played by Statler and Waldorf to name a few.  Paycheck actor Michael Caine takes on the role of Scrooge and if he's not exactly trying hard in the role at least he's British or in his case a Cockney to be precise.

The OK songs are by Paul Williams, the photography, sets and special effects are very well done and the idea of having these sock puppets play Dickens's characters really takes the sting out of a story that has been adapted more than it ever should have been.  

This version of A Christmas Carol was written by Jerry Juhl and old hand at writing material for the Muppets. The running time is 86 minutes. 

1975 - ONE OF OUR DINOSAURS IS MISSING, a not unfunny Disney comedy

I actually laughed at a lot of the comedic scenes in this late period Disney comedy.  The Disney company kept chugging along with live action comedies after the death of Walt Disney.  For every Treasure Island or Pollyanna audiences had to endure films like The Boatnicks, Snowball Express or The Cat from Outer Space.

One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing kind of falls in the middle.  It's silly and stupid at times but it does have some undeniably humorous stuff.  The so called plot of this film has a group of Chinese spies chasing a British spy who has a microfilm of a secret formula called "Lotus X" which the Chinese agents want back.  Little do these martial arts wielding Asians realize is that they have to deal with some English nannies out to stop them.

Well the cast is shall we say interesting and not exactly P.C.  Peter Ustinov is the leader of the Chinese and sports an absurd accent and dresses like a poor man's Fu Manchu.  Helen Hayes usually referred to as "The First Lady of the American Theater," plays the leader of the British nannies out to stop him. Hayes, wrapped up her long career performing in mediocre Disney comedies and crappy TV shows probably to pad her retirement account.  In fact a lot of British character actors show up in this film.

 

Bill Walsh was the producer and the writer of this film, Walsh was a mainstay at the Disney Studios for many years and was responsible for the better Disney family films like The Love Bug, Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks to name a few.  The director was Robert Stevenson who had been working since the 1930's and moved over to the Disney organization in 1957 and really seemed to jell with their kind of film.  Stevenson made a lot of popular and commercially successful films for Disney.

 

I have to mention a couple of amusing scenes in this film.  The chase through London with the dinosaur skeleton is darn funny and the final battle between the nannies and the Chinese martial artists is funny slapstick.  Overall One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing is a good comedy in an ocean of really bad Disney comedies.

The running time is 100 minutes. 

1948 - THE AMAZING MR. X, is a fairly good little thriller

This not bad thriller about spiritualism has a nice gothic atmosphere to it mostly due to the cinematography of John Alton.  Alton bathed the film in lots of creepy light and shadows.  Alton was a pro he had photographed a very successful series of films working with director Anthony Mann.  They certainly brought out the best in each other with films like, T-Men, Border Incident, Devil's Doorway, Raw Deal and my personal favorite Reign of Terror. 

Anyway the story, two sisters living together in one of those expensive ocean side homes which they couldn't possibly afford believe they are being haunted by the ghost of the older sister's dead husband.  They consult a spiritualist who may or may not be the real thing but is definitely a smooth talker.  The spiritualist is played by some actor named Turhan Bey who is certainly a slick looking dude.  Also in the cast are femme fatale Lynn Bari, Cathy O'Donnell who was always a "girl next door" type and the ever reliable Richard Carlson who is probably remembered mostly for his science fiction films It Came From Outer Space, Creature From The Black Lagoon and Valley of the Gwangi. 

 

If this film has a flaw it's probably due to the improbable ending.  The filmmakers set up a fairly interesting situation but apparently couldn't figure out how to resolve it.  But this isn't the first film that had a messed up ending and it won't be the last one. 

The film was written by  Crane Wilbur, Muriel Roy Bolton and Ian McLellan Hunter, Hunter was a front for blacklisted writers during the Hollywood blacklist.  The running time is 78 minutes. 

1932 - CHANDAU THE MAGICIAN, is 1930's escapism at it's most entertaining.

Chandau the Magician (Edmund Lowe) has graduated from yoga school where he has mastered the powers of hypnotism, teleportation and some other rather dubious mental abilities.  His first order of business is to stop the evil Roxor (Bela Lugosi).  Roxor has kidnapped a scientist in order to have him build a weapon that will destroy cities.  Chandau must also rescue the scientist's pretty daughter from a slave auction in addition to romancing Egyptian Princess Nadji.  It goes without saying for a film set in the Middle East, every actor in the cast is played by white people.

Chandau the Magician could almost be the grandfather of Indiana Jones.  There's lots of action combined with fantasy elements and plenty of narrow escapes.  In fact you could probably argue that this film is in many ways more entertaining than that series.  It's also has a short running time something these present day overstuffed adventure epics on the streaming services constantly plague the viewer with.  These films never seem to know when to wrap it up.

 

This film has the benefit of some impressive behind the camera talent. The legendary Chinese cameraman James Wong Howe was responsible for the photography. Howe was one of the best black and white stylists in film.  The director was the famous production designer and special effects expert William Cameron Menzies. The film has an interesting look to it and for a film made in 1932 the special effects are still impressive. 

If you are looking for a visually sophisticated looking film with an amusingly naive story line you should enjoy this.  The film is action packed and fast moving even by today's ADHD standards of film making.  The film was co-directed by Marcel Varnel.  William Cameron Menzies was a great filmmaker in a lot of areas but working with actors was not one of his strong points.

The film was written by Barry Conners and Philip Klein. The running time is 71 minutes.

1953 - THUNDER BAY, not one of the better James Stewart/Anthony Mann films.

The third collaboration between James Stewart and director Anthony Mann was not one of their best.  Stewart plays an oil wildcatter who raises money to set up an oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico to "drill baby drill" because as Stewart says, "America needs oil."  However the shrimp fishermen aren't crazy about the oil explorers drilling into their shrimp beds.  There lies the contrived conflict.

This is a mediocre film at best.  The chief offender is the very poor script.  Stewart falls in love with the head shrimp fisherman's pretty daughter played by Joanna Dru one of the blandest performers of the 1950's.  Dru plays a bitter woman who has been "used" by men in the past whatever that means. Their romance is very forced.  Anyway the actors go through the motions with this story for the most part.  James Stewart always brought a kind of integrity to the films he appeared in this one is no different.  Stewart's oil drilling buddy is played by Dan Duryea who always seemed to play weaselly little bad guys especially in some of Fritz Lang's films.  Duryea was always fun to watch in the many films he showed up in throughout his career.  He worked with Stewart for the last time in the excellent Flight of the Phoenix.

 

Anthony Mann had a weak script and apparently knew it.  But Mann and his cinematographer William Daniels managed some nice location photography in Louisiana and the Gulf which is about the only reason to even give this film a look.

 

Stewart and Mann were a good team for a while but their best films were the five westerns they made together which are kind of minor classics in the genre.

The film was written by Borden Chase and John Michael Hayes, the running time is 103 minutes. 

1939 - PEACE ON EARTH, 1955 - GOOD WILL TO MEN, a couple of depressing cartoons

A couple of downer cartoons, Peace on Earth and it's remake Good Will to Men are about nothing less than the end of civilization as we know it as the human race annihilates itself in a world war.  With people now extinct, little cartoon animals take over and rebuild the world. 

Peace on Earth is actually very well made.  Apparently the director Hugh Harman felt it wasn't enough to entertain people with cute cartoon animals running around, he had a few big thoughts about the fate of mankind.  This film is reasonably effective but after all this human slaughter watching little bunnies hoping around rebuilding some kind of animal civilization is a little off putting.  It's still worth a look.  When Peace on Earth came out in 1939 the world was about to be plunged into World War II so this film wasn't that far off the mark. A real oddball of a  film.

 

Peace on Earth was obviously influential since it was remade in 1955, in fashionable widescreen called Good Will to Men.  In this version mankind essentially destroys itself with nuclear weapons again leaving more cute little cartoon animals to rebuild the world.

Both these films are set at Christmas time to really drive home the "thou hall not kill" and "peace on earth" stuff to an audience.  However cartoon mice singing Christmas carols at the end of these films is kind of weird.  In general the 1939 version of this story is more visually interesting than the remake,

Peace on Earth runs 9 minutes, Good Will to Men runs 8 minutes   

2010 - THE WAY, a modest but very good drama

After the death of his son who was hiking on the Camino de Santiago a trail that has been a pilgrimage for Christian followers since 1492.  A father decides to mourn and pay tribute to his son by completing the son's pilgrimage.  Along the way he meets up with three other hikers, a divorced woman recovering from an abusive spouse, a British writer suffering from writer's block and an overweight man trying to lose weight.  

The story of The Way involves the interaction of these four individuals as they learn to bond with each other on the pilgrimage.  As trite as the plot may sound this is actually a rather touching film.  The relationships among the hikers are presented in an understated manner and there is no inappropriate love story to spoil the mood of the film.

The writer and director actor Emilo Estevez cast his father Martin Sheen as the grieving father and Estevez plays the deceased son in flashbacks.  Estevez shot this film on a tight budget with a small crew.  Sheen gives an excellent understated performance and the rest of the cast does very well as his hiking partners.

 

The film showcases some beautiful Spanish scenery and architecture.  The Way is touching and inspirational in a good way it could have easily went over the top with a lot of sloppy sentimentality but the restraint in the storytelling really works for the film.  The Way is kind of an undiscovered little gem of a film. 

 This running time for The Way is 123 minutes. 

2017 - CHRISTMAS GETAWAY, is the prototypical Hallmark Christmas movie

Christmas Getaway is a good example of the Hallmark Channel's November and December Christmas movie onslaught.  The film is competently put together by the director Mel Damski who was a veteran of many TV movies and series.  The film features a cast of very good looking people who if they will probably never star in a big budget action movie franchise (like most of those are ever any good) are professional performers who know how to deliver their corny dialog without bumping into the furniture as they say.

This constantly recycled Hallmark plot goes something like this.  A big city writer journeys to a small mountain town to write an article on what else, Christmas in a small mountain town.  She meets a widower with a young daughter naturally.  It's all incredibly easy to guess what will happen next, the travel writer and the widower will make goo goo eyes at each other for the next hour and a half.  There will be romantic misunderstandings but eventually true love will find a way. This story all takes place during Christmas but the reality is that the Christmas setting is really not important to the story.  This romance could have been set during the 4th of July, Hanukkah, Ramadan or National Spaghetti Day for that matter.

 

The film has the usual supporting cast, the white writer has a black female friend she can rehash her romantic troubles with.  The widower has a mother who looks like she's only about 2 years older than him. There's and old guy hanging around for no particular reason.  Finally there is an overly cute little girl to bond with the travel writer who will become her surrogate mom.  The women all have the famous Hallmark hair style with half of it flipped over their shoulders. The men always have that rugged mountain man look with their sort of facial hair which is not quite a beard.  It usually makes me think that the female lead is kissing a face that must feel like a Brillo pad.

It's really hard to criticize a movie like this, it is what it is.  Christmas Getaway is a well done feel good holiday film, and it is well made.

This movie was written by Marlene McPherson, Elizabeh Snyder and Tracy Andreen.  That's a lot of writers for such a cookie cutter of a script.  The running time is 90 minutes.